1. "A young woman is having a physical examination and is very embarrassed about her weight. As she removes her last bit of clothing, she blushes. I’m so ashamed, Doctor. she says. I guess I let myself go. The physician is checking her eyes and ears. Don’t feel ashamed, Miss. You look just fine. Do you really think so, Doctor? Of course, he says, brandishing a tongue depressor. Now open wide and say"
- Barry Dougherty, Friars Club Private Joke File: More Than 2,000 Very Naughty Jokes from the Grand Masters of Comedy