Bart King Quotes.

1. "You may not have known this, but animals can talk."
- Bart King, The Big Book of Boy Stuff

2. "Two boys named Daniel and Albert were cutting wood in the forest, but they weren't being careful, and Daniel cut off his arm! Albert wrapped Daniel's arm in a plastic bag and took it and Daniel to the hospital. The doctor told Albert, I can reattach it; just come back in 2 hours. And 2 hours later, the arm was as good as new! A month later, Daniel and Albert were out cutting wood again, and Daniel cut off his leg! Albert put the leg in a plastic bag and took it and Daniel back to the hospital. The doctor said, You kids need to be more careful! Come back in 3 hours. Albert came back 3 hours later, and Daniel's leg was as good as new! A week later, believe it or not, Daniel and Albert were out cutting wood again. Daniel somehow cut his own head off! Albert knew this wasn't good, but he hoped for the best. Albert put Daniel's head in a plastic bag and took it and the rest of Daniel to the hospital. The doctor said, I can't believe you kids! Well, come back in 4 hours, and I'll see what I can do. So Albert came back in 4 hours and the doctor said, I'm sorry, but Daniel didn't make it. Albert said, I understand. He did cut his head off after all. The doctor said, Actually, the surgery went fine. It's just that he suffocated in that plastic bag!"
- Bart King, The Big Book of Boy Stuff

3. "Where do girls come from?"
- Bart King, The Big Book of Boy Stuff

4. "Other Terms for Bombs flatulence backdoor trumpets air biscuits morning thunder cutting the cheese barking spiders depth charges butt bongos wind beneath your wings laying an egg stink-tail"
- Bart King, The Big Book of Boy Stuff

5. "Can I borrow your face for a few days while my butt is on vacation?"
- Bart King, The Big Book of Boy Stuff

6. "I don’t trust short people. Their brains are too near their butt."
- Bart King, The Big Book of Boy Stuff

7. "Your voice could peel scales off a donkey’s butt."
- Bart King, The Big Book of Boy Stuff

8. "One morning after waking up on his 10th birthday, Timmy told his mom, I had a dream that you gave me a BB gun for my birthday. What do you think that dream means? You'll know what it means tonight, Timmy's mom said with an encouraging smile. That night, after the birthday cake, Timmy's mom came in with a long narrow package and gave it to her son. Timmy tore the box open. Finally I get a BB gun, he thought. But he thought wrong. The box was empty except for a book called The Meaning of Dreams."
- Bart King, The Big Book of Boy Stuff

9. "Little Timmy was digging a big hole in his backyard when the next-door neighbor looked over. Why are you digging that huge hole? he asked. My ferret died, Little Timmy replied, throwing another shovel full of dirt over his shoulder. But why are you making the hole so big? the neighbor asked. Because your dog ate it, Little Timmy replied."
- Bart King, The Big Book of Boy Stuff

10. "Girls are impressed by boys who can cook."
- Bart King, The Big Book of Boy Stuff

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