11. "My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger."
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Quote by Billy Connolly
12. "Never trust people who've only got one fucking book."
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Quote by Billy Connolly
13. "Oh, I can picture myself rattling along Route 66 on that thing, headphones on, singing along to ZZ Top's 'Sharp Dressed Man' or the opening line from 'Born to be Wild' by Steppenwolf - 'Get your motor running...' The trike brings out that in all of us, which is no bad thing. Forget Viagra, get yourself a trike!"
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Quote by Billy Connolly
14. "Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack."
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Quote by Billy Connolly
15. "Never trust a man who when left alone with a tea cosey... doesn't try it on."
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Quote by Billy Connolly
16. "Wisdom is the contant questioning of where you are. And when you stop wanting to know, you're dea. You're walking, but you're dead."
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Quote by Billy Connolly
17. "And we took off-whoosh-into the night. Through the clouds, we hurtled up into the sky. And this man farted. I will never forget it as long as I live. Not only was it the worst fart, it was the longest. Maybe, it was the position he was in, he had squeezed his ass all up. But he was kinda leanin over and pointing his ass up toward me. And it made the strangest noise. It was like cloth tearing."
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Quote by Billy Connolly
18. "We were watching this procession. It was fucking terrible and the crucifix was about 20 feet high coming around the corner. And my wee grandson says, 'who's that?' I say, 'that's Jesus'. He says, 'BABY JESUS?!' I say, 'yeah, that's him'. He says, 'SOMEBODY KILLED BABY JESUS!' It was the most sincere religious cry. If Christians did that, I would believe them. 'WHAT? THE BASTARDS KILLED JESUS!"
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Quote by Billy Connolly
19. "The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever becoming one. "Don't vote. It just encourages them...."
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Quote by Billy Connolly
20. "Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh."
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Billy Connolly, Billy Connolly's Route 66