Craig Johnson Quotes.

11. "I've seen men ruined by drink, drugs and dodge pickup trucks, but this is the first time I've seen someone ruined by softcore porn..."
- Quote by Craig Johnson

12. "The steam rolled out as I opened the container and prepared to eat Dorothy's famous Brookville, Kansas, recipe chicken. It was a religious experience."
- Quote by Craig Johnson

13. "Henry figured that the reason the Cheyenne had always ridden Appaloosas into battle was because by the time the men got there, they were so angry with the horses they were ready to kill everything."
- Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

14. "He mulled that over. "Sheriff Connally woulda let us shoot 'em." I reached over and took his coffee away from him. "Yep. Lucian probably would have done the job himself, but we're living in more enlightened times." I drained his cup and handed it back with a smile. "Ain't it grand?"
- Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

15. "There are only three major vote getting days in Absoroka County, and I can't remember the other two. "Oh God, no. It's Pancake Day." I thought about shooting myself. I could see the headlines: Sheriff shoots self, unable to face pancakes."
- Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

16. "I sometimes forgot about how spiritual Henry was. I had been raised as a Methodist where the highest sacrament was the bake sale."
- Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

17. "It is another beautiful evening here at the Red Pony bar and continual soirée, how can I help you?"
- Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

18. "I don’t know what the exact physical dynamics are that cause a shower curtain to attach itself to your body when you turn on the water but, since my shower was surrounded on all sides by curtains, I turned on the water and became a vinyl, vacuum-sealed sheriff burrito."
- Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

19. "I think there was an awful lot about him that I thought I knew, but the truth was I was just coloring in the missing parts with colors I liked."
- Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

20. "Sometimes dreams are wiser than waking"
- Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

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