Dave Barry Quotes.

1. "It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity."
- Quote by Dave Barry

2. "Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking."
- Quote by Dave Barry

3. "If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings."
- Quote by Dave Barry

4. "It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin."
- Quote by Dave Barry

5. "Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain."
- Quote by Dave Barry

6. "There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater,you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent."
- Quote by Dave Barry

7. "In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!"
- Quote by Dave Barry

8. "A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person."
- Quote by Dave Barry

9. "Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
- Quote by Dave Barry

10. "Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance."
- Quote by Dave Barry

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