George Carlin Quotes.

21. "I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds."
- Quote by George Carlin

22. "I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.'" Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name. If they say, "We're the So-and-Sos," take a walk. And if, somehow, you must join, if it's unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. But don't participate; it will be your death. And if they tell you you're not a team player, congratulate them on being observant."
- Quote by George Carlin

23. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
- Quote by George Carlin

24. "I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
- Quote by George Carlin

25. "I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."
- Quote by George Carlin

26. "I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity."
- Quote by George Carlin

27. "Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be."
- Quote by George Carlin

28. "Atheism is a non-prophet organization."
- Quote by George Carlin

29. "The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done."
- Quote by George Carlin

30. "Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure."
- Quote by George Carlin

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