Sam Torode Quotes.

1. "winter mortifies the flesh and invigorates the soul. There’s nothing like a brisk, biting wind to fend off gluttony and lust. I could see his point: it’s hard to fornicate when your balls are frostbitten."
- Sam Torode, The Dirty Parts of the Bible

2. "Millie snapped. Are you saying I’m an old wife? I’d better shut my trap before I fall into yours."
- Sam Torode, The Dirty Parts of the Bible

3. "Water is to the land what blood is to the body."
- Sam Torode, The Dirty Parts of the Bible

4. "Show me a man and a woman in love, and I’ll show you Adam and Eve."
- Sam Torode, The Dirty Parts of the Bible

5. "What did I want out of life? Only one thing, really. To make love to a beautiful girl before the Rapture. Which didn’t leave much time; according to Father, the End Times began the day they lifted Prohibition. Any minute now, Jesus was liable to come bursting out of the clouds on a white horse, sword in hand, ready to wreak some vengeance. My worst fear was that I’d finally find a girl, we’d tie the knot, and then, on our wedding night—just when she was about to drop her dress—Jesus would come riding in on that infernal horse and whisk us up to heaven, where we’d be like angels and never get to have sex."
- Sam Torode, The Dirty Parts of the Bible

6. "Remember this, my boy. The two greatest men who ever livied-Jesus and Socrates-were both hoboes."
- Sam Torode, The Dirty Parts of the Bible

7. "Society always tries to enslave, imprison, and execute its greatest men, those who dare to stand apart and rise above.' He scratched his chin. 'That’s why I’m keeping a low profile--so the bastards don’t get me."
- Sam Torode, The Dirty Parts of the Bible

8. "Some people put more effort and money into the wedding day than they do into the marriage itself, then it’s all downhill from there. I was happy for a simple start; things could only get better."
- Sam Torode, The Dirty Parts of the Bible

9. "...water is to the land what blood is to the body."
- Sam Torode, The Dirty Parts of the Bible

10. "Texas’s main exports are cotton, oil, and preachers."
- Sam Torode, The Dirty Parts of the Bible

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