Tim Waggoner Quotes.

1. "It was a weird feeling knowing that people were looking to me for help – and frustrating too. You save the damn city a couple times, and suddenly everyone expects miracles from you."
- Tim Waggoner, The Nekropolis Archives

2. "No lawyers in Nekropolis. They're too scary even for this city."
- Tim Waggoner, The Nekropolis Archives

3. "By the way," Devona asked, "how did Lazlo know to come get us?"   "I have no idea. Sometimes he just shows up when I need him."   "That's odd," she said.   I laughed. "You're a half-human vampire who's asked a zombie ex-cop to help you track down a stolen magic crystal – and you think Lazlo's odd?"
- Tim Waggoner, The Nekropolis Archives

4. "Talaith sat upon an airborne throne of black marble held aloft by a pair of giant flapping raven's wings growing from the throne's back. Despite myself, I was impressed. Much classier than a broom or carpet."
- Tim Waggoner, The Nekropolis Archives

5. "As the three of us walked, we caught the occasional glimpse of a shambling thing lurking in an alley or dark eyes peering through broken shutters in an abandoned building, but we made sure not to disturb them and they in turn didn't seek to devour our souls. A good arrangement all the way around, as far as I was concerned."
- Tim Waggoner, The Nekropolis Archives

6. "It took the zombie horde, such as it was, a moment to realize we were there, but as soon as they did, they began moaning, "Braaaaiiiinssss…" and started heading toward us as fast as their dead bodies would permit.   "Idiots," Lazlo said. "Why are they always obsessed with brains? Don't they know how hard it is to bite through a skull?"   "I do not want to know how you came by that knowledge," I said."
- Tim Waggoner, The Nekropolis Archives

7. "Lazlo doesn't believe in seatbelts. He says they show a serious lack of faith in a driver."
- Tim Waggoner, The Nekropolis Archives

8. "There are worse things than death in this town and they're usually standing a few inches behind you, ready to reach out and grab you when you least expect it."
- Tim Waggoner, The Nekropolis Archives

9. "The Foundry grounds were surrounded by a twenty-five foot wrought iron fence and Lazlo sniffed when he saw it.   "That thing might look impressive to tourists," he said, "but it wouldn't keep out a fly, let alone a…"   Lazlo trailed off as a large black gorecrow approached the fence. The bird flew high enough to pass over the bars, but the instant it crossed the fence's perimeter, there was a blue flash and the bird burst into flames and plummeted to the ground.   "Like I said, Baron's got himself a hell of a security system,"
- Tim Waggoner, The Nekropolis Archives

10. "There has never been an escape from Tenebrus because escape literally is not possible."   "Good to know," I said. "Now instead of wasting time trying to escape, I can devote my energies to my favorite pastime: mentally composing pornographic haiku."
- Tim Waggoner, The Nekropolis Archives