Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls Quotes.

1. "As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts."
- David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

2. "States vote to take away my marriage rights, and even though I don't want to get married, it tends to hurt my feelings. I guess what bugs me is that it was put to a vote in the first place. If you don't want to marry a homosexual, then don't. But what gives you the right to weigh in on your neighbor's options? It's like voting whether or not redheads should be allowed to celebrate Christmas."
- David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

3. "There’s a short circuit between my brain and my tongue, thus Leave me the fuck alone comes out as Well, maybe. Sure. I guess I can see your point."
- David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

4. "Their house had real hard-cover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read."
- David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

5. "All these young mothers chauffeuring their volcanic three-year-olds through the grocery store. The child's name always sounds vaguely presidental, and he or she tends to act accordingly. "Mommy hears what you're saying about treats," the woman will say, "But right now she needs you to let go of her hair and put the chocolate-covered Life Savers back where they came from." "No!" screams McKinley or Madison, Kennedy or Lincoln or beet-faced baby Reagan. Looking on, I always want to intervene. "Listen," I'd like to say, "I'm not a parent myself, but I think the best solution at this point is to slap that child across the face. It won't stop its crying, but at least now it'll be doing it for a good reason."
- David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

6. "In the beginning, I was put off by the harshness of German. Someone would order a piece of cake, and it sounded as if it were an actual order, like, 'Cut the cake and lie facedown in that ditch between the cobbler and the little girl'."
- David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

7. "I should be used to the way Americans dress when traveling, yet it still manages to amaze me. It’s as if the person next to you had been washing shoe polish off a pig, then suddenly threw down his sponge saying, Fuck this. I’m going to Los Angeles!"
- David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

8. "I've become like one of those people I hate, the sort who go to the museum and, instead of looking at the magnificent Brueghel, take a picture of it, reducing it from art to proof. It's not "Look what Brueghel did, painted this masterpiece" but "Look what I did, went to Rotterdam and stood in front of a Brueghel painting!"
- David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

9. "In Japanese and Italian, the response to ["How are you?"] is "I'm fine, and you?" In German it's answered with a sigh and a slight pause, followed by "Not so good."
- David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

10. "I don't know how these couples do it, spend hours each night tucking their kids in, reading them books about misguided kittens or seals who wear uniforms, and then reread them if the child so orders. In my house, our parents put us to bed with two simple words: "Shut up." That was always the last thing we heard before our lights were turned off. Our artwork did not hang on the refrigerator or anywhere near it, because our parents recognized it for what it was: crap. They did not live in a child's house, we lived in theirs."
- David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

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