1. "Here's your first problem," he said, pointing at a sentence. "'Religion is the opium of the people.' Well, I don't know about people, but I think you'll find that the opium of pirates is actual opium."
- Gideon Defoe, The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists
2. "Don't listen to people telling you that getting up early is best. René Descartes is one of history's most important philosophers, but he rarely got out of bed before noon - and when he started getting up early for a new job as a private tutor, it caused him to catch pneumonia and die."
- Gideon Defoe, The Pirates! in an Adventure with Communists