Unseen Academicals Quotes.

1. "The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord." Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one."
- Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

2. "Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen."
- Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

3. "Don't be smart. Smart is only a polished version of dumb. Try intelligence. It will surely see you through."
- Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

4. "The thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football."
- Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

5. "Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war."
- Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

6. "And that's when I first learned about evil. It is built in to the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior."
- Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

7. "If you try to to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands."
- Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

8. "Contrary to popular belief and hope, people don't usually come running when they hear a scream. That's not how humans work. Humans look at other humans and say, 'Did you hear a scream?' because the first scream might have been you screaming inside your head, or a horse backfiring."
- Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

9. "I would like you to teach [the orcs] civilised behaviour," said Ladyship coldly. He appeared to consider this. "Yes of course, I think that would be quite possible," he said. "And who would you send to teach the humans?"
- Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

10. "I see evil when I look in my shaving mirror. It is, philosophically, present everywhere in the universe in order, apparently, to highlight the existence of good. I think there is more to this theory, but I tend to burst out laughing at this point."
- Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals